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Surrounded in a sea of paranoia and base fear. Isolated, alone with yourself. Life teams about you, but you do not see below the surface. You can’t. You’re too afraid. You are too frightened to focus your sight on anything but yourself, your cowardly situation. What a limited view of rapture you can grasp. How sad that the view is so narrowly pinpointed. Lonely. Uninspiring. Depressed.

However, I think I am near envious of you. The adventure which lies before is heavenly to feel. I am envious to feel the orgasmic sensation of gazing upon real beauty for the first time. I am jealous because there is a trace of will within you that can open the narrow sight and display a view that would move you to believe in your own ways. The fear can fade. It can fade and die. You may live in awe. Each view will grow in its bounty. The gaze will slowly grow. Slowly, until the view encompasses all inspiration to the depths you couldn’t have ever fathomed.

How vast is the sea that you drown in. How vast your courage must be to let yourself sink, and see for the first time what glory is. Fear can die only as you stare into its soul, and its soul lies in you. Stare through it. Only in you can you see everything that is about you. Drown, there is adventure in it.

I was traveling the waters of Lake Powell, along the Utah-Arizona border, when this article came to be. The lake is amazingly fresh and clean. It is amazing because the amount of houseboats that travel up and down the canals is certainly a large number. The lake is gigantic. It would take a good month and a half to see any fair amount of it. The water glows green as the metamorphosed rock towers above it like a golden cage. But never have I seen a cage so intricately sculpted. The cliffs, the caverns, the narrow cuts into the rock that fold out into massive channels are some of the more beautiful things I have seen in this world. I hiked a great deal. There are many fine places to travel by foot. There are many petroglyphs, tiny settlements, and fantastic natural amphitheaters that your echo can travel in for miles. It is heaven for a Shakespearean actor, because they love the echoing of their own voices. I recommend renting a houseboat with some good friends and a speedboat to explore the tiny canyons that the houseboat won’t fit into. As you journey into the smaller areas you can’t help but feel nostalgic as if you were a lonely introvert explorer. My favorite of the areas is a tiny shaded canyon almost to narrow for the speedboats, but just wide enough. It is called Hidden Canyon. See it some day. Its eeriness is its beauty. You can find it easily if you go to Lake Powell. The Utah Parks Service and the many resorts, which you rent the boats from, provide pretty decent maps. Houseboat rental will run about $1300 a week, depending on the size, plus gas which was about $2.19 a gallon when I was there in the summer of 1999. Marinas are found throughout the lake, where you may fill your gas-guzzling tanks and get some rather expensive "necessities." You may rethink the term "necessities" after you see their prices.

But this article truly unfolded with the amount of contact I had with water. When I was fourteen I nearly drown, and my fear of water was quite vast for a while. Slowly I taught myself to swim adequately enough to survive and relax in the water. It was on this trip that I happened to be learning to water ski. While lying in the middle of the lake, after I had recently fallen from my balance, I realized that I had conquered my fear. I was fully comfortable. All I was doing out there was swimming, floating, waiting to ski again, that’s all. It was that simple. My fear became irrelevant. I truly transcended it. There seems to be a lot of power in that area, some places are like that. For me it will eternally be a place of confirmation. A place where I knew my theories were fully valid. I knew the death of fear comes by facing it within. I know that living begins in courage.

Stephan Pacheco-Founder of LibertyCore

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